訓練我們的孩子（Training Our Children）

 

訓練我們的孩子

Training Our Children

摘錄自 Siri Singh Sahib（西里・辛格・薩希卜）的教導

「像聖者一樣坐著，這是第一課。」

1992 年 7 月 1 日

「……母親是創造性的能量。她必須在孩子做對與做錯的事情上，都對孩子提出挑戰。

這就是悲劇所在，沒有母親這樣做。母親必須在對與錯的事情上挑戰孩子：

『如果你是對的，為什麼你是對的？』

『如果你是錯的，為什麼你是錯的？』

而父親則必須提供其他的選擇。

『如果你是對的，你能夠對到什麼程度？你又如何能夠避免錯誤？』

『如果你是錯的，你如何能夠擺脫錯誤，並成為正確的？』

如果父親不這樣做，他就是在殺害這個孩子。

如果母親不這樣做，她就會徹底把孩子變成一個無用之人。

沒有任何人一出生就是錯的。

那是父母的過錯。孩子只是那個過錯與失職所產生的副產品。」

1992 年 7 月 2 日

「……如果我們讓孩子做自己，並給予他們基本的靈性價值觀，與他們的靈性互動，提升並維護他們的靈性，給予他們信心；那就是他們所擁有的唯一正向的東西。

我們的孩子沒有一個會崩潰。

我的意思是，你餵孩子吃很多冰淇淋，然後你認為他或她不會長青春痘嗎？我不知道你是從哪裡學到這種想法的。你給他們所有那些情緒上的說教，然後你就只是依賴他們。

在一個孩子的生命中，最糟糕的事情，就是父母其中一方，或雙方，都依賴在孩子身上。孩子會以為整個世界都掌握在他的手掌之中。他開始用一生去尋求那樣的感覺；但他永遠得不到。他在餘生中都會感到痛苦。我們從第一天起就這樣做。這就是為什麼我說，如果我的祖父曾經對我說：

『牽著我的手，我會陪你一起走。』

那麼，我也會變得瘋狂。

但是他說：

『走在我的前面。你是我的未來。』

我學到了：

我的影響力是在未來……無論我做什麼，絕對不要忘記遵循程序。人來人往。制度長存。如果你能夠記住我的一句話，你就永遠不會失敗。

建立一個制度。以三種方式組織它：

行動（Action）、保障（Cover）與支持（Support）。生命就會變得便利……」

讓孩子像聖者一樣坐著

身為錫克的領袖，Siri Singh Sahib Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji（Yogi Bhajan，瑜伽士巴贊）於 1992 年 5 月 29 日發布了一項指示。

他指出，在每一場正式、完整的謁師所（Gurdwara）儀式中，Sadh Sangat（會眾）的孩子們都應該演唱一首錫克正道（Sikh Dharma）的歌曲。

這首歌曲應安排在《Song of the Khalsa》、《Anand Sahib》（傳統結束聖歌）以及《Ardas》（祈禱文）之前演唱。

1992 年 8 月 2 日，在新墨西哥州，他談到了這項訓練對孩子們的重要性：

他說，孩子們應該走上舞台，站在舞台上。

這是屬於他們的時刻。

他們應該：「像聖者一樣坐著，這是第一課。」

如果我們容許孩子因害羞而不敢走上舞台，也不訓練他們去「主持人生」（M.C. Life），他們將會遭受非常嚴重的痛苦。讓我們消除孩子們的舞台恐懼。舞台上的戲劇，存在於整個世界之中。你每天都要面對創傷。那些害怕走上舞台、面對所有人的人，永遠無法成為領導者。試著去理解。一位領導者必須是一位優秀的主持人（M.C.），並且必須具有良好的影響力。而接下來，他的引導必須是完美的，就如同神的無限性（Infinity of God）一樣。這是我們可以給予孩子的三種價值，而我們將因此免除未來許多的麻煩。給予你的孩子舞台。給予他們特質。給予他們面對挑戰的品格。並給予他們自身最好的部分，使他們能夠提升。如果你能夠與孩子分享這些，你就能讓你的孩子比你優秀十倍……

三種價值（Three Values）

你必須給予他們三種基本的東西：

給予他們靈性的價值觀（Spiritual Values）。

給予他們社會的價值觀（Social Values）。

給予他們倫理的價值觀（Ethical Values）。

給予他們所有你能夠給予的價值觀。

但是，還要給予他們一件事：

帶著愛與關懷，和他們一起練習。

UFOs（不明飛行物）

不要把他們當作外星人或其他異類來對待。他們就是你自己家中的 UFO。如果你真的想知道，這幾個夏天我與青少年相處之後，所得到的觀察，那就是：

他們沒有父母。這是我的研究結果。我可以誠實地說，就在這裡，我們的孩子是我所見過最像孤兒的孩子。我簡直無法相信。他們就像一件家具。你想清潔他們的時候，就清潔他們。你想擦亮他們的時候，就擦亮他們。你想把他們放在哪裡，就把他們放在哪裡。你想在什麼地方使用他們，就在什麼地方使用他們。你想如何為他們定價，就如何定價。你想怎麼談論他們，就怎麼談論他們。你忘記了，他們是活生生的、有機的生命個體。他們是由神完全設計、創造出來的人類，並在祂明確的旨意之下，被交託給你們。而我不知道祂為什麼做出這樣的選擇，但祂就是這樣選擇了。而他們現在與你們在一起。你們從來沒有在商店裡買過任何一個孩子。而且，他們不是小狗。他們是完美的、非常令人愉快的人。他們需要受到尊重。他們需要受到優雅的對待。他們需要受到崇敬的對待。忘了我吧。當你連自己的孩子都不崇敬時，你又怎麼能夠給予我崇敬呢？……我希望這個兒童課程能夠持續下去。我們將把自己最好的部分投入其中。

並使它成為我們生命中最成功的時刻。

Training Our Children

Selected Quotes from the Siri Singh Sahib

Sit like saints, that's the first lesson..

July 1, 1992

"..Mother is the creative energy.

She must challenge the child, on right and on wrong, both. That's the tragedy, no mother does it. Mother has to challenge the child on right and wrong: "If you are right, why are you right?" If you are wrong, why are you wrong?" And father has to give the alternative. "If you are right, how much right can you be? And how can you avoid the wrong? If you are wrong, how can you get rid of it and be right?" If father doesn't do it, he kills the child. If mother doesn't do it, she totally lemons him. No human being is wrong born. It is the fault of the parents. Child is just a by-product of that fault and default."

July 2, 1992

"..If we let our children be, and give them the basic spiritual values, deal with their spirit and uplift and keep it and give them faith; that is the only positive thing they have. None of our children will fall apart. I mean, you feed your children a lot of ice-cream and then you think he or she is not going to have pimples? I don't know where you learned that. You give them all the emotional raps and you just lean on them. The worst thing in a child's life is when either of the parents or both lean on him. The child thinks the whole world is in the palm of his hand. He starts seeking that all his life; he never gets it. He is miserable the rest of his life. We do it from the very first day. That's why I say, if my grandfather had said to me,

"Hold my hand, I'll walk with you", I would have been nuts, too. But he said, "Walk in front of me. You are my future." I learned: my impact is in the future...Doesn't matter what I do, never fail to follow the procedure. Men come and men go. System lives. If you can remember my one word, you will never fail. Create a system. Organize it in three ways: action, cover and sup-port. Life will be convenient..."

As head of the Sikh religion, the sirl singh Sahib, Harbhajan Singh Khalsa Yogiji (Yogi Bhajan) issued a Directive on May 29, 1992 stating that at each formal, full length Gurdwara Program, the children of the Sadh Sangat (congregation) shall sing a Sikh Dharma song, which shall be presented before the Song of the Khalsa,

Anand Sahib (traditional closing hymn) and Ardas(prayer).August 2, 1992 in New Mexico, he spoke about the importance of this training for the children:

He said that the children are supposed to come and be on the stage. It is their time.

They are to "Sit like saints, that's the first lesson." If we let our children be shy of coming on the stage and do not train them to "M.C. life" they will suffer very badly. Let us take stage fright away from children. The drama of the stage is on the whole world. You face trauma every day.

Those who are shy of coming on the stage and facing everyone can never be leaders. Try to understand. A leader has to be a good M.C., and has to have a good impact. And then the guidance has to be perfect, like Infinity of God.

These are three values we can give our children, and we'll save lots of trouble in tomorrow. Give your children the stage, give them the characteristics, and give them the character to confront. And give them the best of them, so they can elevate. If you can share this with your children you can have your children ten times better than you are... Three Values

Three elementary things you have to give them: Give them the spiritual values; give them the social values; give them the ethical values. Give them all the values you can give. But give them one thing. With love and affection, practice with them.

UFO'S

Don't treat them as aliens and other subjects.

They are UFO's in your own home. If you really want to know my reading of these few summers I have been with the teenagers, they don't have parents. It's my study. With honesty I can say, right sitting here, our children are the most orphaned children I have ever seen. I can't believe it. They are just like a piece of furniture. You clean them when you want. You polish them when you want. You put them where you want. You use them where you want.

You price them as you want. You talk about them as you want. You forget they are alive, organic human beings, absolutely designed, made by God, given to you under His explicit subject. And I don't know why He chose that, but He chose so. And they are with you. You have not yet bought any child in the store. And they are not puppies. They are perfect, very pleasant people. They need to be treated with respect. They need to be treated with elegance, and they need to be treated with reverence.

Forget about me, how can you give me reverence when you are not reverent to your children?...I hope this children's program will continue, and we'll put our best into it, and we'll make it the most successful moment of our lives.

本文選自 Still Keeping Up

November, 1992

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